I’m fat.

Guysssssss, I’m SO fat.

Really, I’m not. I weigh 65kgs (I may have rounded that down a little) but well, I’m average.
I’m not tiny, but I’m pretty healthy and every now and again I get whistled at by a front-toothless taxi driver, so I should be pleased.

I’m not fat, but I feel fat.

…And I don’t think its all my fault.

I remember watching Beverley Hills 90210 at primary school and Tori Spelling appeared in a beach scene. As she slow motionly jogged across the sand with her hair majestically whipping and the sun kissing her perfectly bronzed skinned a classmate spat out “wow she needs to tone up if she’s gonna run in that tiny costume”

Ok heaven knows why we were watching 90210 and more importantly why 12year old boys were shown half naked women while they should of been doing geometry. But I digress.

Tori Spelling people, Tori freaking Spelling needed to “tone up”.

If I ran on the beach would the jiggling of my NOT perfectly rounded butt make guys throw up in their mouths a little? Was I… gross? All I knew at 13 was that I was definitely no Tori Spelling, and if she needed to “tone up”? Then I needed a Unicorn and a Genie to procreate because it would take a Genie Unicorn to make me beautiful.

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yesterday I cried with a stranger.

There’s a lady at my gym (in her 40’s) who trains and then showers and heads off to night shift around the same time I arrive.

Wow women are such female dogs, there is never a lack of giggling/whispering as she gets changed.

Anyways, yesterday as I came out of the shower, I glanced at her on the scale and got to share in her happy moment when it read 99,8kg. Even though I don’t even know her name we did the victory dance and then the bear hug followed by the ugly cry (all while I was in a towel). She told me its taken her 13 months to drop below 100 and that she can’t wait to be “an unskilled in bitchery skinny bitch”.

  She taught me that were all on different journeys, there is no competition, besides the one with your yesterday’s self.

Celebrate the milestones, even if its with a semi naked stranger.

Jenna Jay.

whoops.

Its all about balance – This remains my motto
If you are exercising 3 hours a day, eating perfectly all.the.time I might be jealous of your body, but I am definitely not envious of your life.

Do what you can – do what you know you can stick to. I currently exercise about 5 hours a week which is 3% of my week. it is all I am willing/able to do and that makes it enough….for me…for now.

It’s all about a journey towards getting healthier no quick fixes, no guilt trips.

Update – I am now 8,45 kilos lighter –  in just over 4 months 🙂 – that ,45 matters 😉

I am a firm believer that you cannot out train a bad diet – here are some of the mistakes I’ve learnt along the way mostly to do with nutrition.

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