Facebook Privacy.

You know those toothpaste ads where they put a really pretty girl under a UV light and you think there is no way she could have any plaque on her teeth but then :

Screen Shot 2015-10-01 at 10.32.52 AM

And you feel conned. Because in the first scene where she was running across the beach with her swishy ponytail, perky boobs, zero sweat, handsome man and labrador (its always a labrador) while simultaneously eating an apple the last thing you thought was that bitch is plaquey. Wrong.

This is exactly how I felt this week while on Facebook. Conned. I know you’re thinking what the hell kind of comparison is this. But hear me out. (Also welcome to my brain, its a jol.) I always prided myself on the fact that I thought I had pretty intelligent friends. But the amount of times I saw this made me believe that behind all of their really witty jokes and brilliant memes many are well, uhm….


No. Just no. Also LOL. Some of you guys are dumber than a box of pubes. (Thats not a real saying.)

Now as much as the legalese in this status might make it sound official there is just 1 tiny little flaw and its that this status will do absolutely nothing to protect your privacy. Nada. Niks. Fokol. (sorry mom)

I am pretty sure I have signed my entire life away on multiple occasions by always accepting those terms and conditions. But the fine print is always so long and when I start to read it my head hurts and I start to squint so that I can see better because my eyesights really bad and I should probably be wearing glasses but I have a weird nose so when I wear them they always leave this strange indent right across the bridge of my nose. So I just click accept and then go nap or eat a snack or something.

When it comes to privacy laws I really don’t know much but I know that posting this status will do nothing so I think I am doing pretty well. In fact in comparison to my Facebook friends I am in the top 10 percentile of people who know stuff about privacy law.

In the last week I have posted the following :

– A picture of a lady who confused builders foam with Hair mousse

– A video of a dog doing chores

– A video of a really cool tool you can use to cut perfect slices of watermelon

….and a picture of my dead cactus.

So steal away Mark Zuckerberg, Steal away.

The truth is we could probably educate ourselves a bit better on what belongs to us and then what belongs to Mark. But I’ll save you some time and give you a synopses : Mark owns our asses. And the pictures of them too. However if you are interested in reading up then here you go – Facebook Privacy Policy

But for the rest of us who can’t be bothered, lets just stop posting things that we wouldn’t want anyone else to see. Because the truth is you may be sharing it with just your friends but Facebooks sharing it with the world. But mostly, advertisers.

Jenna Jay. 

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