Dear Humans with boobs,
Ummm has anyone seen my last nerve? Oh wait some women are stepping on it…in stilettos.
I love you guys, but you really do some things which are starting to grate my eyeballs.
1. Dumbing yourself down.
What is it with that? It’s not cute. Your brain is sexy – own it, flaunt it. (Granted – it needs to be full).
Well heres an interesting stat – “A recent study found that 73 percent of men said they would prefer a stupid, pretty woman over a clever, less attractive one”
WOAH! – 100-73 is still only 27, right? Only 27% would like a woman who is not a ridiculous idiot? Well maybe the hotness will distract you from the ignorant poop spurting forth from her mouth. Ah, men.
(side note – Notice how much more believable something sounds when you say “A recent study has found…” or “They say that…” Who’s they? Anyways – use it, don’t use it 😉 )
Women – stop dumbing yourself down for men. If you need to – you need a new man.
2. Going to the bathroom together.
Do you enjoy watching others urinate? I don’t. If you do – you might need to see someone about that.
Also, toilets are generally small. Sorry, I’m a practical woman.
I’m all for shouting to my friend in the cubicle next door but INSIDE the stall? why? This is the only reason it should be allowed…
picture stolen from 9 Gag.
You know what i really don’t like – newspapers. The small print and the large ridiculously thin paper make them a pain to read and you’d think that in a time where men jump from the stratosphere (you forget about that?) and cellphones can fit inside your ear we would be able to discover some sort of newspaper ink that doesn’t destroy your hands. Despite my apparent dislike for newspapers, how did gossip get to sneakily climb up the ladder of viable sources of information. Ladies stop it – its unbecoming of you.
4. Nudey pictures.
This week I overheard a group of men discussing a site where ex bf’s could upload pictures of their ex’s semi clothed. Really?
Even if you think your boyfriend would never turn on you, and that you’ll live happily ever after, let me remind you – Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston.
Guys – you’re not off the hook, this is a whole new level of douchebaggery.
But ladies – You can’t get caught with your pants down if you don’t take your pants down. CRAZY, right? What a revolutionary idea.
I fell in love with it when I was a little girl. Feminism. When I was 17 and played first team football, Feminism. When I challenged my brother at Xbox, playstation, Feminism. When people said girls don’t paint, carry boxes, or play with lego, Feminism.
Feminism was my black blazer I put on when people told me I couldn’t negotiate a deal, when did it become my straight jacket?
Why did we mess it up? We are not victims.
Why shut others down because you disagree with them?
Also media – yes you! Stop telling us that all of the men around us are dangerous, that the world just wants to hate us.
Ladies lets put on our big girl panties, dust off that blazer and go back to the days of burning bra’s.
Ok Rant over.
Can we all just regroup and go back to our general state of awesomeness, please?