….the audacity.

I lie, I swear, I have been quick to anger, I judge.
…and yet I have the audacity to accept Grace.
I talk about Grace a lot, probably because I think about it a lot and I think about it a lot probably because I know that I need it a lot.

Sometimes I’m really annoyed by grace – not its existence but its complexity – I’m scared of it, frustrated by it and then I realized I have this same reaction to physics, gourmet cooking and IT related issues all of which I don’t understand. But I need to accept that its there.
Truth is not limited to time… or my limitations to comprehend, truth is truth.

I do good – I get good things was my old train of thought.

Oh how wrong I was to think that I could limit God’s grace with my behavior.
Its Crazy how even though I have seen firsthandedly how God did not withhold grace but took it, melted it and then poured it all over my life over all those cracks and tiny places I thought nobody could reach into. Despite this all I have still sometimes limited who I think grace should be extended to.

God’s grace is for the man who cheats on his wife, the shooter who storms into a crowded cinema and opens fire on unsuspecting victims, the racist, for the drug dealers who have ruined your family’s life. It is for everyone who asks for it according to God’s word, even the people I thought God should have inserted an exception clause for.

Have you noticed the entrance of new ‘sins’- these are ‘sins’ we try and draw up, boxes we try and tick or untick and I have heard crazy ones relating to wearing your hair down/up, makeup, caps in church, bikinis/full costumes, tattoos the list is endless in a weak attempt to somehow box in, clean up and manage grace.

God’s grace is way too messy and uncontrollable for our file dividers and plastic sleeves.

I know some will not agree with me and you might think that maybe my position ignores God’s holiness at the same time I hope yours does not ignore God’s message of love.

The more I read this the more I am remindered its not about the tattoos or red lipstick.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

This week I got a smack in the face, and when I say got I mean gave myself one.
Jenna, how often do you GIVE grace?
Especially since you are oh so willing to receive it.

If I am to understand the bigness of Gods grace then I need to extend it to the small thin s as well – too often I forget about everyday grace.
This week I am making a concerted effort to have what i call “grace infested zones” where I try and show God’s love.
On the road.
In the queue.
At the robot.

Jenna Jay.


2 thoughts on “….the audacity.

  1. Love this write-up, it talks to me as I am also trying to undertand God’s grace, and how often religious people teach us such wrong beliefs, we grow up with those beliefs and yet they are bullshit, and yet God’s grace envelops us every and each day so unendingly and we sit and think that we are worthy of it? and that other poeple are not? wow!

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